He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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