Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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