Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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