We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
