Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
