I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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