Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
