She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
