Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
