I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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