Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize