he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
