dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize