That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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