dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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