His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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