i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
