Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
