did you get engaged???
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
