he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
