There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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