he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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