There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just found a bag of teeth...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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