i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
