it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
