So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Enjoy the penises
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize