she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
