You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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