She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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