TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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