Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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