Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
