but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
