So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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