hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
