I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just saw a hot homeless man
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
