Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
