Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
