I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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