P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
