I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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