went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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