Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
