i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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