And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
