Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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