I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You were trust falling into bushes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
