would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
