Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
youre lurking in front of me
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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