But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
