that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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