I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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