Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
