Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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