Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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