i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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