4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
