Where is the hickey?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
