Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
