Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize