WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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