You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
