you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
