i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
