come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
