I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
